Why today I thought about the only sports day I ever went to - I have no idea but the dreadful memory has come back to me.
Junior school, the overweight, over developed, spotty girl - useless at any sporting activity so I'm put in for the obstacle race.
I have no friends in school - people think I'm weird and ugly so avoid me. My mother and step-father are not there as they are working.
The sports day is in a park mid-way between the school and home which is a mile away along a busy high street.
The race starts - I'm slow because I just am and because I've never been that competitive in a sporty way. Doing all the obstacles with the best skill and desterity I can muster until it comes to a forward roll. Never been able to do one before or since - they make me feel really sick. I stood there by the mat - paralysed by fear unable to think about not being able doing the darned thing but psyhing myself up to do it (I am very self competitive).
The crowd - parents and fellow students - started shouting "do the forward roll, do the forward roll" followed by "just run, just run" interjected with "you fat, ugly cow" - I could do neither. So I cried, peed myself and ran off to an empty home.
I'd erased that memory - why has it come back today?
Junior school, the overweight, over developed, spotty girl - useless at any sporting activity so I'm put in for the obstacle race.
I have no friends in school - people think I'm weird and ugly so avoid me. My mother and step-father are not there as they are working.
The sports day is in a park mid-way between the school and home which is a mile away along a busy high street.
The race starts - I'm slow because I just am and because I've never been that competitive in a sporty way. Doing all the obstacles with the best skill and desterity I can muster until it comes to a forward roll. Never been able to do one before or since - they make me feel really sick. I stood there by the mat - paralysed by fear unable to think about not being able doing the darned thing but psyhing myself up to do it (I am very self competitive).
The crowd - parents and fellow students - started shouting "do the forward roll, do the forward roll" followed by "just run, just run" interjected with "you fat, ugly cow" - I could do neither. So I cried, peed myself and ran off to an empty home.
I'd erased that memory - why has it come back today?
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