Lonely memories

Everyone needs a friend but sometimes it is difficult to find a friend that will listen to you, smile with you and not be judgemental.

I have spent my life being lonely – I have had friends but always at arms length whilst never feeling part of my family.

The years after my tenth birthday up to my mid teens I used to take myself of for walk around the area I lived venturing into the local parks.  Picked on by groups of kids that hung around the park I returned each week.  At least they noticed me. 

An overweight child sporting a face of acne, greasy hair, glasses and old fashioned clothes (my mother never allowed me to wear jeans) – I was an easy target.

This is how I spent my Sunday afternoons, pretending to meet friends, pretending to be popular.  I never shared with anyone my loneliness nor the bullying I endured. 

It is only in the last year I have been able to speak about these feelings after a breakdown and the amazing team of psychiatric nurses.  It was only through their kind words and sympathetic probing that the darkness I have kept within has emerged.  It’s been very emotional and continues to be so.  To help I have coined the phrase Tiddles loves Rover – reminding me that I need to love the person within me.

Pin It